Are You Kidding? Really?

How dumb can a 13-year-old be?

First the principal calls Friday to tell me he has detention for skipping an assembly and being caught playing on the 1st grade swings instead. Duh, you don't think a teacher will notice you're bigger than all the other kids???

Today the P.E. teacher calls to warn me of a potential head injury (what, another one??? to go with the constant state of knuckleheadedness he already suffers from???). Seems he and another kids knocked heads while playing some game. The prince had a small goose-egg on the side of his head. The other dufus has a huge goose-egg on the center of his head. The joke in middle school the rest of the day was what a hard head the prince has! An ice pack and a trip to the school nurse later, he'll live.

I'd better not get any calls from Middle School tomorrow, and if I do get some, I'm not answering!!!

Why? Why? Why?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are almost dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they already know there is not enough money?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars; but have to check when you say the paint is still wet?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?'

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

And my FAVORITE......
The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

High School Open House

The King and the Prince headed over to the high school on Thursday night for an open house. Among other things, they talked about the 10 day rule for absences, a ZERO tolerance policy for tardies even if your car breaks down or your buddy kicks you out of the car on the way back from lunch, and opportunities to reinvent yourself. Maybe the prince will be able to leave his dorkdom behind! :)

They also got to meet athletic coaches, talk to people in the various clubs and organizations, and check out the huge campus. The prince bought his first Falcons t-shirt (okay, we bought it for him), and he will be at cheerleader tryouts in April! He's really interested in being a mascot, but apparently, that's where that happens, though they do have guy cheerleaders who are called the Stunt Team and wear t-shirts that say "I pick up chicks." Cute.

The king said those cheerleaders (the girls) were hitting on the prince and the prince didn't even know it. I should hope not!!

Stay tuned for the roller coaster ride that is HIGH SCHOOL!

FYI

I'm wearing my RMC t-shirt today. It fits me now!

Good One!

These are actual comments made on students' report cards by teachers in
the New York City public school system. All teachers were reprimanded.

My personal favorites are 4, 8, 10, and 11! :)


1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has
started to dig.   

2. I would not allow this student to breed. 
 
3. Your child has delusions of adequacy. 
 
4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot. 
 
5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to
achieve them. 
 
6. The student has a 'full six-pack' but lacks the plastic thing to hold
it all together. 

7. This child has been working with glue too much. 
 
8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell. 
 
9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't
coming. 
 
10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a
week. 
 
11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out
1,000,000 others. 
 
12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.

How about those BEARS!!!

Rocky Wins NAIA National Championship
By The Associated Press

KANSAS CITY, Mo. Devin Uskoski had 20 points and 24 rebounds, and Rocky Mountain College won its first national championship in basketball by beating Columbia College 77-61 in the NAIA men’s title game Tuesday night.

Rocky Mountain (28-9), which had never won a game in the national tournament prior to this year, picked apart Columbia’s defense to build a 19-point halftime lead and never let up, shooting 50 percent to turn the first NAIA championship between unseeded teams into a rout.

Oh the cuteness!

After the princess got done with her dance competition a few weeks ago, she took out her braids and her hair looked like this. We thought it was pretty cute. She decided to try to get that look again, so last night, after her shower, I braided it in several small braids. When she took them out this morning she was one BIG, FIZZY mess! Guess I'm not the stylist our hair-dresser is! Maybe we need to get a crimper...

DQ Madness

Last night the king promised the princess a trip to Dairy Queen. Since he was headed to Buffalo Wild Wings to pick up the prince (who was there for a birthday party where he ate 20 wings and swears he'll never eat wings again!) I went to DQ to pick up the ice cream. I asked the king what he would like and he said, "A blizzard."

"What kind?"

Here's the funny part: He said, "Something light."

I'm sorry but "DQ blizzard" and "light" are CONTRADICTIONS IN TERMS!!!

He got a Hawaiian blizzard. I guess it's "light" because it has pineapple in it! :)

Good Morning

I love my frig with the front water dispenser. That's gotta be one of the coolest inventions ever. Cold water. Beautiful. So I got up at 5:45 this morning and decided I needed a little water. I was going to fill a water bottle so put it up to the dispenser but must have still been not quite awake because I guess I didn't have it lined up correctly. When I pushed the lever, COLD water sprayed all over me, the frig, and the floor. Brrr... And not the way I wanted to wake up this morning. But it did wake me up!

Make My Day

I was at the wonderful world of Walmart a little while ago, picking up a bottle of wine for tomorrow's book club, when the little Walmart cashier carded me! The computer register said, "Is this customer under 40?" She must have thought I was! Bless her little heart!

Spring Training Baseball

The king is back from his trip to Arizona to see a little spring training baseball. They were able to see the Oakland A's, the Dodgers, the Arizona Diamondbacks, the Chicago Cubs, and the San Francisco Giants play. I believe they all had a good time. I know the king did because he'd like to go back again next year. I hope he does. It makes me feel much less guilty about my girl trips!

The Cubs and the Giants

The Oakland A's and Dodgers

Oakland

That's not a beer, is it, Grandpa?

THE THREE AMIGOS!

Skippy-Doo-Dah!

Say it with me,
"Today is the LAST day of winter!!!"

"Annoyed"

Today I was working with 3rd graders. Zac was annoying me a little, but he's really cute, so mostly I was putting up with him. At one point I was following him down the aisle, and he was walking VERY slowly, so I told him to speed it up and then playfully pushed him into his chair. Really, it was playful. But then he said to me, totally innocently, "You're kind of pissy today, aren't you?" I had to explain to him that that wasn't an appropriate word to say at school, and that he should call me, "annoyed" next time!

I was relaying this story to a teacher who now teaches 5th grade but used to teach 1st grade. She said 1st graders say that kind of stuff all the time because they just don't know any better, and her favorite story was when a 1st grader who yelled, "Get your A** off the swing; it's my turn!"

Kids...gotta love 'em!

Primping

I had to get up a few minutes early this morning to make sure I was done with my hair dryer and hair straightener so my child could use it.

Not my girl child...

My BOY child!!!

Happy St. Patrick's Day to all of us Irish!

Cousins

Lynelle sent some photos of her handsome children. We should get to see them when Jackie graduates, if not sooner. Enjoy San Diego!

Cute

I just saw this on the end of an email and it was too cute not to post:

Wash your hands and say your prayers
because germs and Jesus are everywhere.

Sunny Arizona

The king is off to sunny Arizona to enjoy some spring-training baseball. I hope he really enjoys himself and soaks up a little of those warm temperatures for me. Maybe I need to go next year! It's suppose to be in the 80's all week! Lucky Duck!

And then there were two...

The princess' guy is out. The queen and the prince still have hope!

Too Much Information?

It's probably really self-indulgent, but I love these things. I saw this one on a friend's Facebook page and decided to do it with my answers. Feel free to not read it if you could care less--and I totally understand if you do!!

First thing you wash in the shower? hair

What color is your favorite hoodie? don't have one, unless you count the purple one w/the zipper

Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Yes

Do you plan outfits? yes

How are you feeling RIGHT now? calm

Whats the closest thing to you that's red? chair

Tell me about the last dream you remember having? can't remember one recently but my recurring nightmare is calling 911 and being put on hold

Did you meet anybody new today? no

What are you craving right now? water

Do you floss? yes

What comes to mind when I say cabbage? eggrolls

Are you emotional? not usually

Have you ever counted to 1,000? probably as a kid

Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it? both

Do you like your hair? usually

Do you like yourself? usually

Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush? Yes

What are you listening to right now? my son wailing on the guitar

Were your parents strict? no, their motto was: give her enough rope to hang herself. I never did.

Would you go sky diving? no

Do you like cottage cheese? yes

Have you ever met a celebrity? Yes, Liberace. Try not to be jealous!

Do you rent movies often? for the kids, about once/month or less

Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in? my rings I'm wearing

Have you made a prank phone call? as a kid

Ever been on a train? yes

Brown or white eggs? white

Do you have a cell-phone? yes

Do you use chap stick? no, carmex

Do you own a gun? no

Can you use chop sticks? not unless someone ties a rubberband around them for me

Who are you going to be with tonight? family

Are you too forgiving? probably, but that's how I roll!

Ever been in love? yes

What is your best friend doing tomorrow? I don't know

Ever have cream puffs? yes

What was the last question you asked? What are you doing, brother?

Favorite time of the year? Christmas

Do you have any tattoos? no

Are you sarcastic? that's also how I roll

Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect? no

Ever walked into a wall? Yes

Favorite color? red

Have you ever slapped someone? yes

Is your hair curly? slightly wavy

What was the last CD you bought? Hair Spray soundtrack

Do looks matter? yes

Could you ever forgive a cheater? depends on what they cheated on

Is your phone bill sky high? no

Do you like your life right now? yes

Do you sleep with the TV on? Only on the weekend if my husband is watching something

Can you handle the truth? yes

Do you have good vision? yes

Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people? I don't hate anyone, but on any given day I might dislike many people (usually small children), but I always give them a fresh start the next day

How often do you talk on the phone? as little as possible

The last person you held hands with? my daughter

What are you wearing:? t-shirt and sweats

What is your favorite animal? don't really have one

Where was your default picture taken at? what's a default picture?

Can you hula hoop? I could as a kid, can't now

Do you have a job? yes

What was the most recent thing you bought? dinner at Taco Johns

Have you ever crawled through a window? yes, with my son in tow

What day is it?

Is it Friday yet? I really, really need it to be Friday. No wait, I want it to be 9:30 pm Friday night because then the dumb middle school dance I have to chaperon will be over and I can go to bed and sleep, sleep, sleep. How many more hours until that happens????

Just so you know...

It's MINUS 8* right now. Really, in March? Really.

Winter Blues

I am tired of winter. It is snowing for the third time in as many weeks. It was below 0 on Friday. It's windy. More snow, cold and wind expected tomorrow. I've had enough of winter and am ready for sping. Spring, where are you?

Birthday Celebration Complete

This will be the last birthday update, until next year. Last night I got to go to dinner at my favorite Mexican restaurant and have my favorite margarita with one of my favorite friends. Life is good...

More Dance Photos

Someone with a much better camera than I have took these photos.

The princess is the one in the back in this first photo.

The princess is front and almost center in the 2nd photo.

The princess is doing the splits on the left in photo #3.

The princess is in the front, left in photo #4.



The princess is on the far right, standing in photo #5.

The princess is on the far right in photo #6.

Great shots! Love the first one the most!

Birthday Part 4

After work today, I came out to the parking lot to see balloons tied to my car. No note, but if I had to guess, I'd say they were from Mary Beth. Thanks, Mystery Balloon Person!

Birthday Part 3

I've come a long way, baby!!

Birthday Part 2

Last night my family took me to Fuddruckers for dinner. YUM! Onion rings! Happy early birthday to me!

Today I'm wearing my "I didn't ask to be a princess but it the tiara fits..." t-shirt and my tiara!! I'll be having the students sing to me all day! Tonight I have dance--more celebrating, I'm sure! :)

It's good to be me!

Pant-less

Yesterday the prince sauntered into the kitchen in his boxers on his way to the laundry area to get a clean pair of pants. Neither the princess nor I said a word. He looked at us and said, "I just walked though the room without any pants on and no one said a word!!"

It was kind of funny.

Last night I was doing laundry and decided to wash the pants I was wearing so took them off and threw them in the washing machine. I walked by the princess without my pants on and she didn't say a word!

You'd think we walk around pant-less all the time! But we really don't.

Birthday Week

Well the pilgrimage to birthday mecca has begun. Last night I had dinner with 7 friends at Red Robin. Chocolate, a smelly candle thing, and a cool coffee travel mug were greatly appreciated by me, as was the yummy chicken sandwich. Of course, me being me, this is just the first of several mini-celebrations! Oh yeah, and the Red Robin people sang happy birthday and gave me a sundae!

Dancing Queen!

The Princess was awesome yesterday at her dance competition. She and the rest of her team members won several awards. Her dancing school won even more, and her friend, Christian, who dances on another team, also won several. It was a really fun day for the girls, coaches, and parents! Way to go Ladies!!!

This is the princess' team before the competition started. Lots of makeup for little girls!

Two of the girls on her team go to school with her. The other two girls are from other parts of town.

All ready to go. One of the girls on her team gave her this flower.

All the girls, after the competition. The princess is on the end.

With the big trophy after the show. This trophy will stay at the dance school!

One competition down, two to go. Can't wait for the next one!