What's that smell?

Today, as the 5th graders came into class, a horrible stench followed them into the building. The 5th grade teacher in the room next to mine came into my room gagging. She tried to get me to come in and "smell" her room, but I'm not STUPID! I could smell what little was wafting into my room from the hallway. It smelled strongly of vomit!

The 5th grade teacher was sure it was coming from her heat vent. The maintenance boss was soon over here trying to get a handle on it. Several 5th graders were sure it was Eric's feet (poor Eric has a foot odor reputation!).

Then someone reported that it was also on ONE of the buses this morning.

Hmmm...the 5th grade teacher starts smelling her kids, and it's ONE OF THEM!!!!

He's sent to the office to call home. Home will come get him to change.

It wasn't skunk. He hadn't thrown up. He'd taken the trash out on his way to the bus, it had broken open and spilled on him. What could smell that badly in your household trash, you ask?

Remember...I'm from a hunting state...

TRAP BAIT!!!

After the kid left the smell cleared out. He went home to change and came back a while later. So far, he's taking the kidding pretty well!

I think he might have beat out Eric's feet, and boy, it Eric relieved!

A-DOT

A teacher passed this story on to me. She heard this in a kindergarten class yesterday.

Little Boy: We have to listen to her because she's an a-dot.

The teacher thought the little boy was calling her an "idiot" and was about to reprimand him when she realized he was calling her an "adult".

Cute!

It Had To Happen Sometime

Today was the day that I was late for work because traffic was backed up ALL THE WAY DOWN MAIN. I've been leaving my house at 7am daily for 2 years. I've seen one car accident in that time that didn't tie up traffic the way it was tied up today. We were backed up almost to Wicks. Why? Because they had one lane closed down ALL THE WAY DOWN BY AIRPORT RD. I didn't see any warning about that closure either. I arrived at work at exactly 7:30, but wasn't in my room, ready to go until about 7:35. Bummer.

Losers!

We're big losers. All our people have been voted out of Survivor now, so there'll be no big money for us. Actually, we've been out since Thursday, but I only watched and found out today so...
Have no fear, I'm sure we'll try again next season. Someday, right?

Happy Birthday Matt!

Happy Birthday "old" nephew!

And see what happens when you do crazy poses...then end up on my blog, but then again, that's probably what you were hoping for! See you in a month too! Wow! It's been 2 years since I got to say that!

Happy Birthday J!

Happy Birthday young nephew! See you next month!

The Culprit

I had a meeting after work. The prince had track practice. The meeting got out, and I headed to my car to drive to the other side of the campus to pick up the prince.

"Excuse me, Mame. I think you've got a flat tire," some nice girl said to me.

Sure enough. F L A T!!!

I don't change tires. So here are the events that followed:

Called the king's cell. No answer.
Called the castle, hoping the king was home. No answer.
Called king's cell again. Still no answer.
Called kings' cell a third time and left the following message: Am stuck at the school with a flat tire. Call me back!

My friend pulled up about that time to say she had an air tank at home and would go get it (luckily she lives about 2 blocks from the school.) When she got home her husband was pulling up, so they headed back over to rescue us.

Meanwhile I call the king a couple more times. No answer.
Then I call Grandma, who should be on her way home. Yep, she's only 1/2 mile away. So she too comes to rescue us.

Super Doug shows up with his air tank and fills the tire, but we can hear it leaking air as quickly as he is filling it up. So Super Doug then ends up putting on that weird spare tire that comes with newer cars. Phew! Good thing I read part of the owner's manual yesterday so I knew where to find the spare!

Meanwhile Grandma shows up and says, "It's not all the way flat."
That's right the top of the tire was sort of inflated!!! But I do appreciate that she came to our rescue.

To add insult to injury, I had to take another 8th grader home too, so I was trying to figure out how I was going to let his dad know what a loser I am in my BRAND NEW CAR!!!

As it turns out, I probably ran over the S P I K E pretty close to school this morning because I can't imagine having made much more of the distance without noticing it flat.

So thanks to Super Doug and his beautiful wife for the help. Dinner's on us!
Thanks to Grandma for not even batting an eye when I called.
And thanks to the king who never did answer his phone but is at Walmart having the tire fixed right now!

Scroll down to see the dastardly deed in person!

THE CULPRIT!

Happy Birthday Becky!

Happy Birthday to a
beautiful young lady!
Enjoy your day!
(Oh, and be grateful I stole this photo off your Facebook site and not some of your more silly photos!)

Andy Rooney-isms

ENLIGHTENED PERSPECTIVE

I've learned.... That just one person saying to me, 'You've made my day!' makes my day.

I've learned.... That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.

I've learned.... That being kind is more important than being right.

I've learned.... That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.

I've learned.... That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.

I've learned.... That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

I've learned.... That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.

I've learned.... That money doesn't buy class.

I've learned.... That love, not time, heals all wounds.

I've learned... That life is tough, but I'm tougher.

I've learned.... That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

I've learned.... That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

I've learned.... That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.

Cool Photos--Try not to smile!

More Foxworthy

I got this email.  Not sure if they are really from Jeff Foxworthy, but they're funny
none-the-less!


Jeff  Foxworthy on School Employees
 
YOU  might be a school employee if you believe the playground should be equipped
with a Ritalin salt lick.
 
YOU  might be a school employee if you want to slap the next person who says,
'Must be nice to work 8 to 3:30 and have summers  off'.
  
YOU  might be a school employee if you can tell it's a full moon or if it's going to
rain, snow, hail....anything!!! Without ever looking outside.
 
YOU  might be a school employee if you believe, 'shallow gene pool' should have
its own box on a report card.
 
YOU  might be a school employee if when out in public, you feel the urge to
snap your fingers at children you do not know and correct  their behavior.
 
YOU  might be a school employee if you think people should have a government
permit before being allowed to reproduce.
 
YOU  might be a school employee if you encourage an obnoxious parent to check
into charter schools or home schooling and are willing to donate the U-HAUL boxes
should they decided to move out of district.
 
YOU  might be a school employee if you think caffeine should be available in
intravenous form.
 
YOU  might be a school employee if meeting a child's parent instantly answers
this question, 'Why is this kid like this?'

Glacier Update

As of Saturday, the glacier in our backyard was finally completely melted. Last night was the first tumbleweed bonfire of the season. I'm surprised someone didn't call the fire department with all the smoke we made. Tomorrow we're suppose to get more snow...and it's suppose to continue all week. You know, the big, wet, sloppy kind because temperatures won't get too cold! Good thing the van we just traded off has new windshield wiper blades for someone else to enjoy!

This is the first year we didn't dye eggs or have an egg hunt! I didn't miss it at all, and the kids didn't seem to either. The bunny did come though, bringing summer shorts, a movie, a cd, and cool new waterbottles! Good ol' Easter Bunny!

Everything I Need to Know

Everything I Need to Know, I Learned from the Easter Bunny...

Don't put all your eggs in one basket.

Walk softly and carry a big carrot.

Everyone needs a friend who is all ears.

There's no such thing as too much candy.

All work and no play can make you a basket case.

A cute little tail attracts a lot of attention.

Everyone is entitled to a bad hare day.

Let happy thoughts multiply like rabbits.

Some body parts should be floppy.

Keep your paws off other people's jellybeans.

Good things come in small-sugarcoated packages.

The grass is greener in someone else's basket.

An Easter bonnet can cover the wildest hare.

To show your true colors, you have to come out of your shell.

The best things in life are still sweet and gooey.

I should note:

I should note that my windshield wiper is broken--not sure how safe that will be, driving home after work in the rain/snow mix!

Thanks for asking...

Why yes, it IS snowing again...thanks for asking!

And then there was one....

The prince and his player are our last, best hope

to pull off a Survivor win! Go Brenden!

Family Funny

My Grandma was always funny. My sister reminds me a lot of my grandma in the way she laughs and her sense of humor. I never really thought my mom was funny when we were growing up, but my dad was really funny. I have since figured out that my mom wasn't that funny because she was busy taking care of 4 kids while my dad was having all the fun!!! Now my mom is often very funny and much more like her mom than I thought she was when we were growing up. My sister is just like them.


That's the set-up. So my mom and my sister went on a Bahama cruise in February. My sister-in-law, a day or two before my mom left, said she wished they were going to, and maybe she could draw a couple of stick figures with her and my brother's names on them so they could be with them in spirit. My mom, funny girl, went one step farther, printed out a picture of my brother and sister-in-law, and then "took them on the cruise." What follows is my mom's email and the photos to prove that Blake and Robin went on a "secret cruise"!


One more thing you need to know: my mom and Libby missed their plane to Denver on the way to Miami to catch the boat!


Funny, funny, funny!


Yep, Blake and Robin joined Libby and me on the Bahama's cruise. I knew they wanted to come when Robin called before I left and asked me to draw stick figures and take pictures.


They don't look too worried about missing the plane in Colorado Springs. Guess they left that for us.

They enjoyed the Sofitel Hotel in Miami. Lounging on the chaise and that beautiful bathroom--hanging out in bed as we had until noon to leave.

They checked out the window in the small ship cabin. Seems like they lounged in bed a lot!

They had a great time on the beach at Cocoa Kay. So did we--a beautiful day.

They spent some time pool side.

We returned to Miami and they enjoyed sitting on the deck waiting to get off the ship.

At the 8 hour wait at the Miami airport they recharged their batteries.

(Notice Libby recharging her phone battery! Clever and funny Mom!)

Ya just got ta love it!!

Dancing Competition #2

The princess' second dance competition was yesterday. They did a great job again. She had a great cheering section with me, her dad, Grandma, Kathi, Mary Beth, and Christian. How could she go wrong!

Here is Miss Emily, working her magic before the competition.

I really think I could do this, but the princess doesn't trust me.

Go figure!

There they are, with their name in lights at the theater--

if you can read it.

I'm not nervous, and I don't need my picture taken anymore!

After the competition and before the awards are handed out,

the kids are invited up on stage to dance.

That's the princess, center, all in black, shaking her groove thing.

They got a gold trophy, took 7th place overall, and here is Kaitlyn,

accepting their Judge's Choice award for

"Group that Enjoyed Dancing the Most"

or something like that!

Pippi Rules!

After a hard week of voting competition, the princess and her schoolmates pulled off a last minutes upset (and it really was in the last 15 minutes of voting) to come from a 10,000 vote deficit and win by 1,300 votes! Our school will receive $250 worth of books for our library, which the kids will get to help choose! The video these 5 wrote, directed, and starred in, which encouraged kids to read Pippi Longstockings, was worthy of the win. AWESOME!

Did you notice? The princess is wearing PINK????

A Star is Born

The prince played a weatherman last night in the middle school production of "Fifteen Reasons NOT to be in a Play." He was awesome. The director said he has real improv skills and that much of what he came up with, they used in the play! Too bad it was only a one-night engagement. I'd love to see it again! BRAVO!

Happy Birthday Little Sisty!

Happy Birthday, Shelley. You look GREAT!

Are You Kidding? Really?

How dumb can a 13-year-old be?

First the principal calls Friday to tell me he has detention for skipping an assembly and being caught playing on the 1st grade swings instead. Duh, you don't think a teacher will notice you're bigger than all the other kids???

Today the P.E. teacher calls to warn me of a potential head injury (what, another one??? to go with the constant state of knuckleheadedness he already suffers from???). Seems he and another kids knocked heads while playing some game. The prince had a small goose-egg on the side of his head. The other dufus has a huge goose-egg on the center of his head. The joke in middle school the rest of the day was what a hard head the prince has! An ice pack and a trip to the school nurse later, he'll live.

I'd better not get any calls from Middle School tomorrow, and if I do get some, I'm not answering!!!

Why? Why? Why?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are almost dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they already know there is not enough money?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars; but have to check when you say the paint is still wet?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?'

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

And my FAVORITE......
The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

High School Open House

The King and the Prince headed over to the high school on Thursday night for an open house. Among other things, they talked about the 10 day rule for absences, a ZERO tolerance policy for tardies even if your car breaks down or your buddy kicks you out of the car on the way back from lunch, and opportunities to reinvent yourself. Maybe the prince will be able to leave his dorkdom behind! :)

They also got to meet athletic coaches, talk to people in the various clubs and organizations, and check out the huge campus. The prince bought his first Falcons t-shirt (okay, we bought it for him), and he will be at cheerleader tryouts in April! He's really interested in being a mascot, but apparently, that's where that happens, though they do have guy cheerleaders who are called the Stunt Team and wear t-shirts that say "I pick up chicks." Cute.

The king said those cheerleaders (the girls) were hitting on the prince and the prince didn't even know it. I should hope not!!

Stay tuned for the roller coaster ride that is HIGH SCHOOL!

FYI

I'm wearing my RMC t-shirt today. It fits me now!

Good One!

These are actual comments made on students' report cards by teachers in
the New York City public school system. All teachers were reprimanded.

My personal favorites are 4, 8, 10, and 11! :)


1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has
started to dig.   

2. I would not allow this student to breed. 
 
3. Your child has delusions of adequacy. 
 
4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot. 
 
5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to
achieve them. 
 
6. The student has a 'full six-pack' but lacks the plastic thing to hold
it all together. 

7. This child has been working with glue too much. 
 
8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell. 
 
9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't
coming. 
 
10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a
week. 
 
11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out
1,000,000 others. 
 
12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.

How about those BEARS!!!

Rocky Wins NAIA National Championship
By The Associated Press

KANSAS CITY, Mo. Devin Uskoski had 20 points and 24 rebounds, and Rocky Mountain College won its first national championship in basketball by beating Columbia College 77-61 in the NAIA men’s title game Tuesday night.

Rocky Mountain (28-9), which had never won a game in the national tournament prior to this year, picked apart Columbia’s defense to build a 19-point halftime lead and never let up, shooting 50 percent to turn the first NAIA championship between unseeded teams into a rout.

Oh the cuteness!

After the princess got done with her dance competition a few weeks ago, she took out her braids and her hair looked like this. We thought it was pretty cute. She decided to try to get that look again, so last night, after her shower, I braided it in several small braids. When she took them out this morning she was one BIG, FIZZY mess! Guess I'm not the stylist our hair-dresser is! Maybe we need to get a crimper...

DQ Madness

Last night the king promised the princess a trip to Dairy Queen. Since he was headed to Buffalo Wild Wings to pick up the prince (who was there for a birthday party where he ate 20 wings and swears he'll never eat wings again!) I went to DQ to pick up the ice cream. I asked the king what he would like and he said, "A blizzard."

"What kind?"

Here's the funny part: He said, "Something light."

I'm sorry but "DQ blizzard" and "light" are CONTRADICTIONS IN TERMS!!!

He got a Hawaiian blizzard. I guess it's "light" because it has pineapple in it! :)