Good times!

Last weekend the kids headed about 100 miles east for a small-town fair. There were rides, swimming, fishing, and a demolition derby. Many thanks to Mary Beth for making it possible and to her awesome parents for hosting. Thanks too to cool Aunt Steph and her friends for the fishing fun!


Here they both are on my most favorite ride EVER! I think the prince is hamming it up a bit!

First Day of School

In honor of the first day of school, I found this funny quote:

"Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?"

John Mendosa

Maxine's Funny

Since I have to work for 3 days before the kids start school, I've been leaving them a list of "chores" to do while I'm gone. I can't be sure, but I like to think it keeps the fighting down to a minimum. They do know that if they fight, they'll get even more chores assigned to them, so they've been pretty good. But I'm sure they are ready for school to start Thursday so they can be done with the dreaded "chore list" they wake up to every morning. I'm the best mom ever!!!

For what it's worth...

For what it's worth, I thought the opening ceremonies of the Olympics were AMAZING! We have watched here and there over the past 2 weeks. I loved everything about the redeem team, the U.S. men and women winning the 4x400 meter relay, and even watching the Australian, Mitchum, beat the two favored Chinese guys in diving. I got caught up in the Michael Phelps drama, along with everyone else, in part because I have clear memories of watching the Olympics the year Mark Spitz won his seven medals. So I was very excited for Phelps to beat Spitz' record and expect him to add to his collection in 4 years. HOWEVER, I was so disappointed in NBC's coverage of the medal ceremony when Phelps AND HIS TEAMMATES won the medley relay. Phelps wouldn't have won that 8th medal without those teammates, but during the playing of the national anthem, the ONLY team member they showed was Phelps. SHAME ON NBC!!!

Dance Star!

Announcing the newest member of the

Junior Dance Competition Team!!!

Rock On--oh, I mean--Dance On, Sister!!!!

Sarcastic

I've been accused of being sarcastic from time to time. Someone sent these to me. I can't take credit for them!

The Zen of Sarcasm

1. Do not walk ahead of me for I may not follow. Do not walk behind me for I may not lead. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.

2. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.

3. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

4. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably a wise investment.

5. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Yes, I saved the best for last!!!

Class of 2012

Every year the Beloit College puts out a "mindset" list for the incoming class. Here's the list for this year's college freshman:


1. Harry Potter could be a classmate, playing on their Quidditch team.
2. Since they were in diapers, karaoke machines have been annoying people at parties.
3. They have always been looking for Carmen Sandiego.
4. GPS satellite navigation systems have always been available.
5. Coke and Pepsi have always used recycled plastic bottles.
6. Shampoo and conditioner have always been available in the same bottle.
7. Gas stations have never fixed flats, but most serve cappuccino.
8. Their parents may have dropped them in shock when they heard George Bush announce "tax revenue increases."
9. Electronic filing of tax returns has always been an option.
10. Girls in head scarves have always been part of the school fashion scene.
11. All have had a relative — or known about a friend's relative - who died comfortably at home with hospice.
12. As a precursor to "whatever," they have recognized that some people "just don't get it."
13. Universal Studios has always offered an alternative to Mickey in Orlando.
14. Grandma has always had wheels on her walker.
15. Martha Stewart Living has always been setting the style.
16. Haagen-Dazs ice cream has always come in quarts.
17. Club Med resorts have always been places to take the whole family.
18. WWW has never stood for World Wide Wrestling.
19. Films have never been X rated, only NC-17.
20. The Warsaw Pact is as hazy for them as the League of Nations was for their parents.
21. Students have always been "Rocking the Vote."
22. Clarence Thomas has always sat on the Supreme Court.
23. Schools have always been concerned about multiculturalism.
24. We have always known that "All I Ever Really Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten."
25. There have always been gay rabbis.
26. Wayne Newton has never had a mustache.
27. College grads have always been able to Teach for America.
28. IBM has never made typewriters.
29. Roseanne Barr has never been invited to sing the National Anthem again.
30. McDonald's and Burger King have always used vegetable oil for cooking french fries.
31. They have never been able to color a tree using a raw umber Crayola.
32. There has always been Pearl Jam.
33. The Tonight Show has always been hosted by Jay Leno and started at 11:35 EST.
34. Pee-Wee has never been in his playhouse during the day.
35. They never tasted Benefit Cereal with psyllium.
36. They may have been given a Nintendo Game Boy to play with in the crib.
37. Authorities have always been building a wall across the Mexican border.
38. Lenin's name has never been on a major city in Russia.
39. Employers have always been able to do credit checks on employees.
40. Balsamic vinegar has always been available in the U.S.
41. Macaulay Culkin has always been "Home Alone."
42. Their parents may have watched "The American Gladiators" on TV the day they were born.
43. Personal privacy has always been threatened.
44. Caller ID has always been available on phones.
45. Living wills have always been asked for at hospital check-ins.
46. The Green Bay Packers (almost) always had the same starting quarterback.
47. They never heard an attendant ask "Want me to check under the hood?"
48. Iced tea has always come in cans and bottles.
49. Soft drink refills have always been free.
50. They have never known life without Seinfeld references from a show about "nothing."
51. The Windows 3.0 operating system made IBM PCs user-friendly the year they were born.
52. Moscow residents have always been able to buy Big Macs.
53. The Royal New Zealand Navy has never been permitted a daily ration of rum.
54. The Hubble Space Telescope has always been eavesdropping on the heavens.
55. 98.6 F or otherwise has always been confirmed in the ear.
56. Michael Milken has always been a philanthropist promoting prostate cancer research.
57. Offshore oil drilling in the United States has always been prohibited.
58. Radio stations have never been required to present both sides of public issues.
59. There have always been charter schools.
60. Students always had Goosebumps.

Dance, Dance, Dance

The princess danced at the fair this week. Her usual group of about 9 girls was only 2 for the first performance on Friday and 3 for the second performance on Saturday. Here are a couple of photos of the Friday performance. They did great!
On the Saturday performance, the princess was asked to fill in for another dancer on a dance she had never done so she did this dance for the first and only time, wearing someone else's costume. And, as is her style, she was great!

Fun with Grandma and Grandpa

Grandma and Grandpa came to visit. Good times!

Like Father-in-Law; Like Son-in-Law

They aren't blood-relatives, but you'd never know it the way they dressed alike for the ballgame. Yellow shirts, red hats, and lots and lots of beer.

In fact, they liked the beer so much that they had to get matching BEER GOGGLES!!
Here are two of the biggest KIDS you'll ever meet!

Happy Anniversary

The royal brother and sister-in-law came to visit Wednesday. They left yesterday--their anniversary. They eloped to Vegas many years ago. As we were discussing it last night, I asked the king,

"Why didn't we attend?" He reminded me that we were young and broke back then! I think we should all plan on renewing our vows together sometime--in Vegas. I love Las Vegas!

A knight's tale...or is it a donkey's tail????

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away. Really, you couldn't wish this land any farther away. There was a king and a knight. But the knight didn't start out as a knight. No...he was originally the court jester. And he kept the king and the royal family in stitches! What was truly amazing was that even though the king and the jester were brothers-in-law, they looked surprisingly like brothers. People in the kingdom started to whisper that perhaps the queen and her sister had, in fact, married brothers. Perhaps that was how the court jester had managed to become a knight when everyone knew that jesters were never knight material.

Finally the brothers, um...I mean, the king and the jester decided to stage a royal--HAIR RAISING--battle. Surely their separate male pattern baldness heads--kind of like fingerprints--would prove to the kingdom that they were NOT brothers in blood but only by marriage. So Princess Shelley got out the royal clippers and went to work, sheering these donkeys--I mean men.



Alas, it was true. Upon closer inspection, one was definitely a much bigger FATHEAD than the other. And the jester, who had been claiming all along that he had more hair than the king, did appear to have a little more fuzz on top, although king thinks it might have been his tan!




The king had no choice but to knight the court jester, since he had won the DUEL OF THE HAIRLESS fair and square and knighted the court jester in a special knighting ceremony held only on rare occasions when in-laws become brothers. BALDY BROTHERS, that is!





Oh yes, and they lived happily ever after!

More Cousins

Here are the "other" cousins, back when they were here for a visit! What a bunch of knuckleheads!

Happy Birthday Grandma

We met for dinner and cake to celebrate Grandma's birthday last weekend. Here are all her grandkids. The boys are now taller than Jackie, the oldest, though they were standing on a rock that made them look even taller!! We love you Grandma!

A Princely Visit

The Royal Nephew, Sir Marcus, came to visit us this past week. The boys are the same age/grade and had a royally good time at the lake, the water park, bowling with Grandma, lunch with the Royal Aunt (she was trying to steal my title of "Cool Aunt" but I declare myself the coolest--I am the queen, after all!), and golfing with the king. I've been negligent in my photography this summer, so here are the only photos we took! We hope Sir Marcus comes back to see us again next summer!

Did you know...

I got this in email form. I don't know how accurate it is, but it's interesting.

Did you know...

A giraffe's tongue is blue.

The bigger the naval, the sweeter the orange.

At the first Thanksgiving dinner Lobster was one of the main entrees.

Worcestershire Sauce is basically an Anchovy Ketchup.

The ashes of an average cremated person weighs 9 lbs.

33 million Hershey Kisses are made each day.

In Disney's Fantasia, the Sorcerer name is Yensid which is Disney backwards.

Race car is a palindrome. (Think about it. You'll get it.)

The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.

The space between the two front teeth is called the diastima.

Now you know!

Summer School--week 3

Yeah, the final day of summer school. I was the hero this morning when I let them all play outside until it was time for school. Usually they have to wait in the lunch room, but not today!

My favorite kindergarten story of the week came from Madison. She has cried off and on the last 3 weeks because she misses her mom. She was crying for me on Monday and I decided maybe there was more going on here, so I started asking her questions.

Is your mom at work?

Yes.

Does she go to work every day?

Yes.

But she always comes home at the end of the day right?

NO!

Now I'm thinking maybe she lives with Grandma or something since she's crying pretty good, so I ask if she lives with her mom or her grandma.

My mom.

Well, then your mom must come home from work at the end of the day, right?

NO, (she's sobbing now) because sometimes she works OVERTIME!!!

Duh, could I be any dumber????

I calmed her down--we thought about our favorite fair rides--and she survived another day of missing her mom!

Fish News

Mourning for Azul was quick. The princess went out Wednesday and bought two gold fish--20 cents each!--which she named Tom and Jerry. By morning, Tom was dead. Jerry's hanging in there. She knows gold fish don't usually last too long--especially FEEDER GOLD FISH! She's planning on a betta next. Can you tell she doesn't get too attached to her fish!!

Summer School--week 2

Two weeks down, one to go. I have decided I've missed my true calling and should be working with kindergartners. They are my new favorites! On Thursday I was playing with a pair of green sunglasses one of them had and pointed out that they matched my pants and let them know how cool I thought I was!

One of them said, "Yes, but you need some tassels," as she pointed to my BREASTS!!!

I thought, "No, I've misunderstood."

So I said, "What do you mean?"

She said, "You know, pom-poms," as she pointed at her own breasts!

I'm still pondering that one!

Jury Duty update

The king's jury duty ran Mon-Wed. They found the defendant Not Guilty on 4 charges having to do with weapons. The king thought the defendant was railroaded by small town B.S.. When the trial was over the judge met with the jurors and told them that he thought they made the right decision, as he thought the case was weak. Additionally, he said the federal government is cracking down on guns the way they did drugs in the 1990's to set a precedent, and this was a case they were hoping to use. The king enjoyed his first jury duty experience and hopes to get the chance to do it again. As luck would have it, the queen got called to a year of duty on municipal court that will start in September. Could there be anything more boring than municipal court????

Jury Duty

The Skabelund-do-be-do-be-dooblunds are visiting. Not much time to post with all the sitting around, relaxing we're doing--not to mention the eating! I will post more later but thought I'd better let you know the King has FINALLY been chosen to be on a jury. He's NEVER even been in a jury pool, and this past year was pulled into 3 court pools. He's been called a couple of times, but they've always been settled. He was finally able to show up for selections Monday. He proudly became Juror #3! More when the trial's over, but I will say that they should begin deliberating today, and he might even get a free lunch in the bargain! More later...

Farewell Azul

It is with great sadness that we announce the passing of our beloved Betta. The princess is in mourning. But do not despair. We'll soon have a replacement and will update you promptly. Your prayers and well-wishes are greatly appreciated.

This compliments yesterday's blog post!

Summer School--week 1

The best thing about summer school is that it's only for 1/2 a day, and we only go Monday-Thursday. So today was really FRIDAY!! Yippee!!!

There is MAJOR construction going on in our school right now so getting the kids safely from point A to point B is sometimes challenging.

We have had issues with the Middle School kids stealing milk during lunch and stupid stuff like that, but mostly I don't have to deal with them so that doesn't affect me. Otherwise, it would really make me re-think if it's worth the money.

I usually work with 3-5th grade, so working with K-2nd grade has been kind of fun. My favorite moment this week happened yesterday when the kindergartners came into my lab. There were already 3-5th graders in there so I told Allona (she's beautiful, by the way) to sit by Jake--a 3rd grader.

She just stood there.

I told her again.

She just stood there.

I finally said, "Allona, go sit down."

She whispered, "I don't like boys."

I rolled my eyes at the other teacher in the room, got down on eye-level with her and said, "Yes, they stink. I don't like them either. But we're at a school with boys and girls so today you're going to sit by a boy."

She wasn't happy about it, but she did it. Oddly enough, she was absent today. I hope it wasn't that stinky boy. And I really hope it wasn't me!!

Work, work, work

I went back to work today. Summer school. Three weeks. NO AIR CONDITIONER!!!

But a funny thing happened when I left the kids home this morning. I called about 11:30, told them I had to attend a meeting and would be home later than planned. I told them to eat lunch and then go take care of the neighbor's yard (the kids are watering while they are out of town.)

So I get home around 1:00 and they are out front, having a water gun fight. They are both SOAKED and laughing!

What strikes me as odd about this are these two things:

1. They never choose to go outside but have to be sent out.
2. They never choose to have fun with each other but are sometimes forced to.

So I say, "Looks like you guys are having fun."

The prince smiles and says, "Well, we locked ourselves out of the house so had to find something to do!"

They'd been locked out for about 1 hour! Funny! Good thing the weather was good and no one had to use the potty!!!

Tomorrow they'll be at Grandma's in the morning...we'll see how it goes Wednesday when they're home again!

Hilarious!

We had lots of fun yesterday with a bbq at the king's sisters--yum--followed by more food and swimming with all our old neighbors and other friends later. The highlight for the kids was the 2+ hours of lighting fireworks. There were about 11 kids fighting for their turn to light and that more people did not get burned by wild punks is quite amazing! The funniest thing I heard all night happened at the end of the night and went like this:

Pudgy girl: I burned my thumb on a punk tonight.

Skinny girl: I did that last summer, but the worst burn was the time I burned myself when I was making donuts with my grandpa.

Pudgy girl (with real concern in her voice): Yeah, but were the donuts good?

Today we're off to look for good deals on clearance shrubs and trees and maybe take in a baseball game tonight. How about you?

Happy 4th of July!

Happy Birthday

If my dad were alive, he'd be turning 66 today!

You can bet there's a party going on in heaven today!

Busy Week

So far this week we've...

had pizza and played in the park,
went mini-golfing and then
played at the arcade,
went to the lake to cool off,
and that was all by Wednesday!

We're not on vacation (technically), but you wouldn't know if by all the fun we're having! I'm making a little Amish Friendship Bread today--anybody need a starter?--and then tomorrow there are more big doings: a bbq, swimming, and fireworks. Saturday we'll probably take in a baseball game, and Sunday we might hit the waterpark. Did I mention we're NOT on vacation! What are you doing to celebrate the birth of this great nation???

Canada Day

I sometimes "blog hop" as I like to call it. Just hit "next blog" up at the top and away I go. I see people I'll never meet in real life and now and again, I see a "naughty" blog, so I don't recommend this for children. Mostly I look for cool things on other blogs and how to incorporate them into mine. As you can tell by the blog, it's slow going! However, as I was blog hopping today, I learned that yesterday was Canada Day. They are 141 years old. Don't you just figure they've been around as long as us? I know that's egocentric, but it's what I have always thought. I know Mexico's been around longer, and I know the Native Americans will say that they've been here longer, but in my own little mind--emphasis on LITTLE--I just figured Canada and the U.S. were the same age! Huh!